Archive | January, 2012

Description and Voice

23 Jan

The skies are purple as can be. The top layer is a very dark shade of purple, almost blue but definitely purple, something I know as a result of looking at the entire sky rather than this ribbon of it in isolation. A cloudy, marshmallowy, thick white color briefly interrupts the dark purple, but it is barely noticeable. The clouds emerge more between this ribbon of sky and the next, forming a zig-zag line of thick, white, marshmallowy cloud. The next ribbon is slightly smaller in length, for it is interrupted by a triangle of sunny sky that begins on the left of the second ribbon and gradually expands to the point where it constitutes more than half of the final ribbon. However, the second ribbon is a mixture. There is clearly a presence of the brilliant purple that will emerge later, but it is overshadowed by the dark purple from above that sometimes comes to interrupt it. What can be seen below the sky is a shocking yet appropriate contrast to the quiet and serene sky. Maybe it would be worse of the scene below was total chaos, but it’s not so it isn’t. Instead, there are just a few people- maybe a couple of kids, perhaps an adult- going about whatever they see fit. They are not directly acknowledging the magnificent sky above them, but they certainly aren’t unaware of it. The people are surrounded by man-made objects: a trashcan, a couple tables with benches surrounding them, some ugly white fencing far off in the distance. On the opposite end, there appears to be an ordinary building which seems to function as a bathroom. The people and objects are surrounded by an overbearing flora- some huge trees that in one spot actually seem to touch the sky. But the people, objects, and even the flora, undoubtedly mean nothing compared to the sky. After the second ribbon, the sky becomes quite confusing. The brilliant purple is certainly still to come, but it has not quite emerged yet. To the left, closer to the sunny triangle of light, the third ribbon seems to take on the very dark purple from before. However, in the middle, there is a patch of sun and sky and cloud, which gives way to the “brilliant” purple I have to describe that fully forms to the southeast of this patch. However, the right of the third ribbon is simply madness. It is almost a grey purple- it completely lacks the brilliance that is bursting through below. It is almost a dulled down, less magnificent version of the dark purple we started with. The third ribbon is quite white, and clouds interrupt it on multiple negligible occasions. However, it means nothing compared to the fourth ribbon of sky, which is what truly gives this sky and the photograph of it so much meaning. On the left, the triangular portion of the sky that is still white is disrupted by a congested spot of purple thickness that the light sky makes ugly. However, the light triangle still only makes up about a quarter of the sky and brilliance now occurs. The light gives way to a brilliant, bright purple, that is almost too shocking to fully absorb. It shoots upward into the fourth ribbon, and though it constitutes such a small portion of this image, it defines it. It is so priceless, yet so worthless, and it is almost intangible due to its lack of consistency. On the right, it is finished by an ugly patch of grey cloud, something thick and saturated. This is where the sky’s magical beauty ends and realisticality begins. The fifth ribbon of the sky is tiny- the light, triangular portion on the left has so expanded by the final ribbon that it takes up more than half the sky. On the other side, the final ribbon is blocked by the highest trees, the ones that tickle the sky with their dark green furry leaves. The light on the left is so brilliant at one point that it touches the sky and forms a tiny path of orange, that becomes a nice but overly agreeable pink to finish off the beautiful sky. This sky sounds magnificent, as if it occurs in the most beautiful or noticeable place on earth. This is not the case. The people below- while experiencing something special for various reasons- are ordinary people enjoying an ordinary, yet upbeat life. The trees and buildings and tables and benches and trashcans and fences that are so hard to see due to the shocking sky are in truth, their reality, while the sky is just a fantastical remnant of the beautiful day that has occurred. A pole far off in the distance gives off a bright green light that seems to be in the middle of the tree. Unnatural light. Shit. The unnatural light, while not an inherent problem, seems to take away from the brilliant natural light that should dominate the scene. This unnatural light is more tangible, more real to the rushed busybody with his or her eyes only half-open. However, the other individual- the individuals appreciative of beauty- will ignore the unnatural light, recognizing it only as the man-made interruption of beauty it is. He or she will instead stare at the beautiful, purple sky that is starting to fade. This light is harder to understand than the green light and certainly harder to use to guide one’s way. But since such beauty can occur in such a normal setting, the individual who uses the sky to guide his or her way is the one who achieves the most fulfillment that evening. This individual has a sense of purpose and knows not to shy away from a challenge because the experience will be more rewarding in the end. Nature wins.

(Please click on the picture, the bigger version does it much more justice).

REFLECTION/GOALS

19 Jan

I THINK I HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB OF RESPONDING TO YOUR ESSAY FEEDBACK SO FAR THIS YEAR. LOOKING AT THE CORRECTED DRAFTS AND COMMENTS, THE SAME COMMENTS RARELY COME UP ON MY FIRST DRAFT AS ON SUBSEQUENT ONES. ONE WEAKNESS THAT HAS APPEARED FREQUENTLY IS REMAINING OBJECTIVE. IN THE NEW JOURNALISTIC ESSAY, I SOMETIMES LET MY PERSONAL VIEWS ON THE DEATH PENALTY INTERFERE WITH THE STORYTELLING AND I USED THE OBJECTIVE THIRD PERSON NARRATOR TO INFILTRATE MY VIEWS, WHERE I SHOULD HAVE USED THE BIASED FIRST PERSON NARRATORS TO DO SO MORE SUBTLY. IN MY ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY, I SIMILARLY LET MY INTENSE PASSION ON THE ISSUE ENTER THE ESSAY, AND SOMETIMES THAT CAUSED ME TO SPEAK TO MY AUDIENCE IN A CONDESCENDING WAY, RICH WITH ASSUMPTIONS. LUCKILY, I FOR THE MOST PART ALWAYS ADDRESSED THESE ISSUES THOROUGHLY. ANOTHER COMMENT THAT HAS COME UP A COUPLE TIMES REGARDS MY ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS, SUCH AS PARAGRAPH BREAKS IN THE NEW JOURNALISTIC ESSAY AND LONG PARAGRAPHS IN THE ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY. I HAVE IMPROVED ON THIS MOSTLY, THOUGH SOME OF MY PARAGRAPHS REMAINED PRETTY LONG IN THE FINAL DRAFT OF THE ARGUMENT ESSAY. HOWEVER, I ALSO THINK THAT YOUR COMMENTS HAVE ENABLED ME TO MAKE STRIDES AS A WRITER. I HAVE ACHIEVED MANY STRENGTHS, OFTEN RELATING TO THE GOAL OF THE ESSAY. FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE NEW JOURNALISTIC ESSAY I SUCCESSFULLY APPLIED MY KNOWLEDGE OF NEW JOURNALISM TO CREATE COOL PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS AND IN THE ARGUMENT ESSAY, MY DATA DID A GREAT JOB OF WARRANTING MY CLAIM. FOR THIS REASON, I BELIEVE I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN THESE WRITING STYLES. ANOTHER STRENGTH CONTINUES TO BE MY POLISH: I HAVE A VERY STRONG COMMAND OF THE VERY INTRICATE RULES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. MY PRIMARY GOAL FOR THE SECOND SEMESTER IS TO MASTER OTHER STYLES OF WRITING: I HAVE DONE WELL WITH FLASH FICTION AND PERSUASION, BUT I AM EXCITED TO EXPLORE DESCRIPTION AND VOICE, AND ALSO MAYBE EXPLORE NEW TYPE OF ANALYTICAL ESSAY. ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO WORK ON PICKING A VERY SPECIFIC AUDIENCE AND ADDRESSING SAID AUDIENCE IN THE MANNER MOST APPROPRIATE TO CONVEY MY POINTS. FINALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO USE MY ADVANTAGES AS THE SPAKER MORE TO MAKE MY ESSAY AS EFFECTIVE AS POSSIBLE. I BELIEVE THAT IF I ACHIEVE THESE GOALS, MY WRITING CAN CONTINUE TO CAPITALIZE ON MY STRENGTHS WHILE ALSO IMPROVING MY PRESENT WEAKNESSES.

Seeing

8 Jan

The tinted color you spark while under the light sends a message of innocence, maybe even beauty. You bind together so flawlessly, and emphasize your images that are inviting, so as to say “come inside,” and maybe even fun. However, the snowcapped mountains and sunlight depicted on you along with the fancy names and credentials do not fool me. I know what you did, do, and will continue to do. I know that you mercilessly torture millions of people and that you are unable to feel any emotion after you do this. I do not see regret or sympathy, but at the same time I do not see merciless enjoyment from the pain you cause. The latter is hidden, I cannot see it, but I know it is there. You hide it so well with everything else I see: the calligraphy is nothing short of divine. Is it intentional, how the yellow so beautifully contrasts the blue, and the blue slowly fades into the white, avoiding an abrupt transition? Of course it is. I see that, I see through you. I see hints of brown, undoubtedly a result of overuse. Maybe people should just stop using you; I see what you promise to offer, but I cannot see the terrible expense at which that offer is made. But from experience, from seeing what is actually inside you rather than just on the glorified outside, it is there. At the top I see even bigger wear and tear, and some scribbles. However I have not yet truly ventured inside. As I enter, I see all of the glorified colors and calligraphy on the outside, and now they are gone. On the inside, I see a lot- but I cannot make out what I see. Sometimes I see items similar to what I see on the outside, but these are not as glorified; the colors are not as radiant and are not inviting. Then again, they do not need to be, because you have already accomplished your goal by inviting me in. I now see mostly black and white, and everything is better aligned, more organized and crotchety. Although you have not managed to fool me, you have managed to torture me like you tortured everyone else, just because of what I have seen, and the contrast between what you depict on the outside and what truly lies within.